Guten tag,
In typical fashion, I’ve left writing a post until there’s so much to catch you guys up on. Are you sitting comfortably? Get yourself a nice cup of tea.
When we last left you, we were heading to Milan. “How prepared we’ll be!” we thought. “We’ll set our alarms early, get packed, and be at the train station with half an hour to spare. With our pre-loaded Interrail passes, how can we possibly lose?” We strolled over to our station in Turin and waited patiently for our train.
It appears Trenitalia heard this and took it personally. Now here’s where we’ll pose a question to you – when your train gets shown at Platform 2 with about ten minutes to go before your train leaves, and you’re on your platform with time to spare, what platform will the train leave from?
You’re likely scratching your head and thinking why it wouldn’t be Platform 2, and you would be absolutely right if it wasn’t for the sole reason that, apparently, Trenitalia just likes to change a platform last minute for fun.
If you fail to glance up at the departures board with about a minute’s notice, clock that your train’s been moved, observe it arriving on another platform, run up a flight of stairs and along a corridor to the platform, only for the train’s doors to not open not matter how many times you may mash the Open button before the train drifts out of the station, then according to Trenitalia it’s entirely on you for being such a thicky. Granted, that’s not the exact wording of their policy, but the implication is clear.
So, yeah, a bit frustrating, especially as to get the next train (an hour later) we had to pay for seat reservations. But we were in first class and got complimentary sandwiches and drinks, so every cloud, I suppose.
We arrived in Milan with a few hours to kill before our train to the lakes, and since neither of us had visited this fashion capital of the world1 we wanted to take advantage of it. Milan’s a great city. Despite being bigger than Turin, it didn’t feel anywhere near as packed with people, and unlike Turin it actually seems to have been built with an idea that people may want to walk through the city with ease.
As we walked to drop our bags off to a storage locker, we walked past the Bosco Verticale, a skyscraper made distinctive by the fact it’s covered with trees and plant life in an ambitious effort to mitigate the local microclimate and increase biodiversity in the area. It’s certainly impressive, and I’m sure if you lived there you’d get used to a tree blocking the view from your balcony after a while.
After a swift espresso to recharge, we set off into the city centre to grab some lunch and check out the sights. Our destination was Cracco in the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, which is the most beautiful shopping arcade we’ve ever seen, and we’ve been to Castle Arcade2. It’s a vast building covered with a glass dome and a cast iron roof, with four iconic mosaics on the floor near the centre representing Milan, Turin, Rome, and Venice. These were beautiful, albeit we couldn’t see Turin’s mosaic as it was undergoing, erm, intimate restoration.
Lunch was absolutely delightful. Iris had risotto and a main of veal Milanese, naturally a culinary highlight the city is keen to show off, and it was gorgeous. I enjoyed some absolutely lovely spaghetti and some fish as a main. We definitely recommend Cracco if you’re in the city, especially as you have the world’s most gorgeous arcade as your view.
Naturally, we couldn’t leave before seeing the Duomo di Milano, Milan’s awe-inspiring Gothic cathedral. It took 579 years to finish construction,3 and standing at 108 metres (354 feet) tall, it certainly made an impression. It also directly faces a McDonalds at the other end of the square. I’ll leave it to you smart folks to decide what the symbolism is there.
Our brief sightseeing trip complete, it was time to head to Baveno, our home for the next three days on the shores of Lake Maggiore. We fortunately had much more luck with the trains this time. Turns out we were travelling on a day of national train strikes and ours was one of two trains still going! Yes, we may have been feeling smug boarding our train, but we were due a bit of luck.
We arrived in Baveno a few hours later, and what a slice of paradise it is. Nestled among mountains and overlooking the lake, we had postcard views just down the road from where we were staying.
Having spent most of the day travelling, we thought we’d have a quintessentially Italian experience for dinner by getting some pizzas and eating them by the lake. We were hungry enough to order two large pizzas from a local pizzeria, disregarding the owner’s warnings as to how big these were. They were dirt cheap, after all. We did think it was odd when he brought out two colourful paving stones, but on closer inspection they turned out to be boxes containing the biggest takeaway pizzas we’d ever seen.
Did it look silly as we were carrying them down to the shore? Yes. Did I ensure to loudly mention several times how good it would be to have leftovers, therefore minimising the amount of judgement we got from strangers? Also yes. But the pizzas were amazing and the view was spectacular. We could have stayed there for hours, and overeating was only partly the reason.
We also saw a couple of grebes swim near us, one with a tiny chick on its back. Incredibly cute, and a good luck omen for sure. If it’s not already a good luck omen we’re now officially making it one.
The following day saw the lake once again bathed in sunshine and we took a walk around it, taking in several packed cafes with outdoor seating and seeing people swimming in the lake at the local beach. Later that day we tried to stroll over to Stresa, a neighbouring town, only to quickly find out that this particular road was doing it’s best impression of a road in the USA by having the pavement run out early on and for us to be left wandering into traffic. After seeing speeding BMW after speeding BMW4 we thought it best to head back and turn in, but not before grabbing a drink at a bar with seats directly overlooking the lake. Have I said how beautiful it is?
I’m the wrong person to write about the following day as I woke up tired and decided to have a very lazy day, while Iris decided to walk up a nearby hill for fun. Opposites attract, after all. It didn’t all go to plan as some old lady had let out her aggressive dog, leading Iris to have to call for help in broken Italian. Thankfully, nothing negative came of it, and on a positive note some of the photos she took are exceptional. We had dinner that night before heading to a lakeside ice cream bar for a drink and a sweet treat.
In what will be, weirdly, the first of two loud bangs that I write about on this leg of the trip, as we were settling down someone decided to let off a full fireworks display. Iris dashed down to the lake to take some photos and saw that alongside the fireworks a lightning storm was also visible. I was tucked up in bed but hear it was a feast for the eyes.
It was then time to say ciao to Italy and to head to Switzerland. Our travels took us on what may be one of the most scenic train rides we’ve had. Travelling from Domodossola to Locarno, we boarded a train that took us through enormous forested mountains, with blue, glistening lakes at their feet. There were waterfalls aplenty, steep climbs abundant, and many a station name I had no chance of correctly pronouncing. Words can only do so much justice, so feast your eyes on some of our pics.
We arrived in Zug, from where I’m writing this post. If Baveno was the first step in the arms race of amazing lakeside views, Zug is the extreme step-up. It’s a cute little town outside of Zurich bordering its namesake lake. Painted, antiquated buildings and colourful churches are among the many sites dotted along the sublime lakeside, with the nearby Alps dominating the skyline. It was a delight to walk around on the evening we arrived.
It reminded us of Japan in many ways. It doesn’t feel too hectic, the scenery is great, and, I’m not kidding, there are deer in the park.
Zug is a hub for some of the world’s wealthiest individuals, according to Wikipedia. We learned this from one visit to a local supermarket, where some fruit, veg, and sausages cost us 70CHF5. Turns out multi-millionaires and crypto-bros have expensive taste, if what you mean by that is that they don’t mind paying through the nose for potatoes and meat. Maybe that explains one of the architectural choices we spotted.
We started today with a run along the lakeside (just don’t ask how I got on after not running for a fortnight) before setting out to explore more of the town. We took in the Old Town, the buildings in which were magnificent and the fountains spectacular with their colours and statues of warriors atop them.
We slowly climbed the hills to an observation deck, and my god, the views look like something out of a book or a film. For any location scouts out there, Zug is your place for archetypal Swiss towns. As we headed down to the lake we came across a public bird enclosure, showcasing exotic birds like the Scarlet Ibis and Cockatoos. My Merlyn account hasn’t lit up this much since Costa Rica.
On our way back it started to rain so we ducked inside a nearby coffee shop for shelter. As we were unwinding and chatting a forked lightning bolt hit the roofs of two nearby buildings and let off such a loud bang that I was momentarily convinced something had exploded. Didn’t spill my cappucino, though, so another small victory.
After a very rainy dash home, we’ve got in and we’re now completely up to date. We’re here for another day and have a booking at a mountain-top restaurant that serves fondue. When in Switzerland, after all! Fortunately there’s public transport to assist us on the way up. Otherwise I’d have already reached out to you all to send us oxygen bottles and Kendal mint cake.
Matt
Two for the Road 
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