Two for the Road

It’s been just over a week since we set sail from Miami, and I must say, because I’m such a cool guy, I’m writing with a frisson of excitement about writing a blog from the middle of the ocean. In the olden days this post would have taken months to arrive¹ on-shore, so take solace in how fortunate you are to receive this update in practically real time!

The cruise has been great, as per our prior experiences with Virgin Voyages, and we’ll go into the details shortly, but I want to begin by delivering a few observations.

Firstly, we’ve had to get comfortable walking, talking, and generally existing while the ground we stand on rocks from side to side. I know, who’d have thought the Atlantic Ocean could be rocky from time-to-time? You meet many people over the course of a cruise, at least to the point where you’ll say hi to each other as you walk past, especially on a transatlantic voyage where your only option for exiting the ship is a bit too cold and wet for most people’s liking.

Talk about maintaining an impression as the classy individuals we are by nodding and saying “Hi!” before the ship rocks, the ground isn’t where your foot thinks it’ll find it, and you stumble as if you’d been having one too many cheeky morning vodkas. I know my co-ordination isn’t the greatest at the best of times but it does feel like the cards are stacked against me here.

Secondly, once you meet people on a cruise, even if your only interaction is to briefly exchange pleasantries while at a bar or in the queue for the burrito bar², you will then see them everywhere. I’m writing this from the ship’s canteen and if I sneakily glance up I can already see a bearded fellow who wanted to chat beards³ with me the other day while waiting for a coffee and there’s another guy who’s made a firm impression on my mind due to the bright red leather trousers he was wearing around the ship the other night. I bet he lit up the bridge tournaments on board with that fashion sense.

But I digress. We boarded the ship in Miami and a few hours later we were setting sail across the Atlantic. It’s the first time either of us have done a cruise that was not only not a round trip, but one that would take us across a stretch of ocean to arrive in our destination in a different continent. I’ve certainly heard of worse excuses to drink glasses of free bubbly that were being dished out at the ship’s sail-away party on the top deck. Plus the views of Miami beach as we sailed out were beautiful.

That night we headed to Extra Virgin, the Italian restaurant on board, where we enjoyed some gorgeous beef carpaccio, meatballs, and delicious pasta amongst other things. We then headed to the ship’s casino, where you can now celebrate the fact I managed to turn $100 dollars into $500! Yeah, I was thinking they need to give me a comped cruse too. I will now, however, state I will be taking no further questions at this time as to our luck upon subsequent casino visits. It’d bore you too much.

It’s difficult to write a chronological account of what we’ve done on each given day. For those of you who’ve not been on a cruise, time enters a different state, particularly as there haven’t been port days to punctuate the journey. With the exception of the odd day for early-morning yoga, there’s no need to get up early. As we cross the Atlantic, every other day our clocks have moved forward an hour. Food is provided for you all the time so specific mealtimes matter less. What your watch says only matters for dinner bookings and to determine what time the pub quiz is on. Think of it as an all-inclusive resort someone’s kicked out onto the sea. So, forgive me if this blog post is looser than the norm.

Since this is my fifth time in a Virgin cruise, and Iris’s sixth, we haven’t felt pressured to rush around in a frenzy to do and see everything, which is a nice change of pace. But this doesn’t mean we’ve done nothing new!

We took part in bingo hosted by The Diva, a drag queen who’s part of the ship’s Happenings Cast,⁴ and Iris won! Four other people regrettably also won so our dreams of early retirement were quickly snatched away. But still, what a result!

Those of you familiar with our curse to eternally come second in the ship’s pub quizzes will not be surprised to learn there have been two quizzes in which we’ve again bagged the silver medal. Even joining forces with a couple from Swansea didn’t mean we could avert our fate.

The food here has been great as always. With the exception of one night in the Test Kitchen, the on-board experimental set menu restaurant, who seemed determined to make Fawlty Towers into a real thing, the service has been friendly and the food delightful. We’ve enjoyed, amongst other delights, beautifully cooked steaks, generous salads, and chocolate tacos to boot!

A couple of nights ago Scarlet Night came upon us. For those not in the know, it’s a night that happens on every Virgin Voyages cruise where everyone dresses in red and people feel in the mood to party. There’s also some story they attempt to tell about a giant red octopus falling in love with the moon, which, yes, is unusual, but will explain said squid’s presence in our photos.

Pro tip: hot tubs become available at the time the pool dance party led by the Happenings Cast⁵ happens. Rather than fighting for space among the throngs of people, get yourself a piña colada and watch with comfort from the tub. Yes, it may mean, like us, you then get too hot and have to get out early, but that’s a risk you’ve got to take.

Earlier that day we took the time to take party in a ‘Painting & Boozy Bevvies’ class. I think I can get behind being an artist if that much bubbly is a regular thing. We followed our instructor’s guidelines to pain a mermaid tail underwater. Literally no prizes for guessing who’s is who’s.

Our first port stop (after 9 days at sea) is tomorrow. Gran Canaria was originally to be our stop but due to a medical emergency on board we’ve had to change course. The person got dropped off at the Azores and we’re now heading to Madeira. Our kayaking got cancelled but I’m sure some fortified wine will make up for it.

Then we’ll be heading to Casablanca, then Alicante, before alighting at Barcelona, our final stop.

Matt

1. I’ll fully admit this is just an estimate. It probably would have depended on how good your galleon’s wi-fi was. ↩︎
2. There’s nothing quite like a chorizo burrito with a side of tortilla chips and salsa for breakfast. ↩︎
3. It’s just what guys with beards do. ↩︎
4. Think American theatre kids crossed with Butlins redcoats. ↩︎
5. Told you they were theatre kids. ↩︎