Two for the Road

The settlers of Rotorua must have been amongst the most entrepreneurial people in history. Anywhere else in the world, a city built on bubbling mud that stank of rotten eggs would be a disaster. But the fine folks from the Bay of Plenty saw potential for a tourist destination and, all these years later, it’s a roaring success.

It was here in ‘Sulphur City’ – named for the high abundance of the stuff and it’s, ahem, recognisable stench – where we’d spend the last leg of our New Zealand tour. Rotorua sits within a highly volcanic landscape, featuring hot springs, geysers, and boiling mud pools. It attracts 3 million tourists every year, and a third of its population are Māori, the highest proportion of any city in New Zealand. Make sure you buy me a drink with your winnings if this helps you clinch a New Zealand-themed pub quiz in the near future.

Before we arrived there, though, we took advantage of some good weather to get out and about to some local attractions. We took in the beautiful Hamilton Gardens, which consists of several differently themed gardens – including Japanese, English, Chinese, and even more fantastical themes like surrealism and Mozart’s Magic Flute. It was beautiful in the summer sun and well worth a visit.

We also headed to Putaruru Blue Spring, a strikingly blue spring where so much of New Zealand’s water comes from. We walked alongside the canal and took in the gorgeous scenery.

It was then time to head to Rotorua. We stayed in a lovely Airbnb attached to our host’s house. Plenty of space, close to town, breakfast included – what’s not to love? Our host, Jane, was so friendly and we had many a chat each morning. When we told her we were from Wales she waxed lyrical about the Brecon Beacons, so you know we were in good company.

All the talk of home brought with it a curse, however, as it rained and poured solidly for the three days we were there. I know everyone loves Crowded House, New Zealand’s favourite sons, but we really didn’t mean to take the weather with us. Sorry, everyone!¹

Being British, though, meant that naturally we weren’t going to allow rain to stop play. On our first morning we headed to the amazing Kerosene Creek. While its name makes it sound like a wryly-named environmental disaster, it was the perfect place to spend a rainy morning. It’s a free, natural, publicly accessible hot spring in a native forest. While I may have lost street cred by visibly wincing while walking barefoot on the pebbles down to the creek, we had a great time.

We then drove to the nearby town of Taupō, which on a clear day boasts of magnificent lakeside views of the surrounding mountains. Unfortunately, the weather that day being reminiscent of a particularly harsh and wet Welsh winter, the view was obscured by fog. We grabbed a coffee and enjoyed a picnic in the car before heading home.

The following day was Valentine’s Day, and naturally we did what any romantic travelling couple would do. That’s right, we went to the National Kiwi Hatchery.² Our quirky tour guide informed us with all the facts about kiwis we could ever want to learn (did you know they have whiskers, like cats? Or that they are the only birds with nostrils at the ends of their beaks?) before taking us through to see a pair of adult kiwis. Sadly it was no photos allowed, but there were a few stuffed (taxidermy and plushie) varieties available for snaps.

They’re fascinating birds, chicken-sized furry potatoes who are quicker than you would expect. Our guide informed us they’re trying to get their adult birds together but the female keeps beating up the male, so it’s early days in their relationship to say the least. Let’s hope he had better luck after we left, given that it was Valentine’s Day.

What did we do for Valentine’s Day? Glad you asked. After sending Iris an e-card³ I rested happily, completely forgetting to finalise any plans for dinner that evening. Place your bets as to who is chiefly responsible for planning our trip.

A nearby bistro had an available reservation that evening, so we thought we were fortunate and booked it. We set off on what was meant to be a short 10-minute walk from our place to the bistro, but rained so heavily that we had to take refuge under a tree. When we got there we looked as if we’d arrived by log flume.

Initially we were hopeful going in. Tables were full and there was no member of staff in a big hat anywhere.⁴ We were moved to our table and quickly offered water. The staff seemed like they were constantly on the move, but hey, it was Valentine’s Day. It was bound to be busy, right?

Unfortunately we were left at our table for half an hour before I had to go up to ask if someone could take our order. Being British, this was naturally a very uncomfortable and awkward thing for me to do, so I expect you to shower me with praise in the comments for being so brave. We ordered a bottle of wine and some food and crossed our fingers that it would arrive before the day ended.

Iris had scallops, which were nice, and I had mussels which were overcooked. The sauce was nice, though. Next time I’ll just get a bowl of that. For our mains Iris had a lovely piece of local fish that I was very jealous of as I ate spaghetti with prawns made of old tyres. Now, for legal reasons, I can’t prove that for certain, but if you’d similarly struggled to chew through them as I did you’d have the same suspicions.

The next day came and we bid farewell to our host and headed back to Auckland. We went to see Eden Park, New Zealand’s national stadium. Rugby fans will know it as the All Blacks’ fortress, and where in 2017 Sam Warburton performed his Jedi mind-trick on the ref in the third Lions test to ensure a game-winning penalty was not awarded to New Zealand. Ah, good memories. Need them when thinking about the rugby these days.

I’m currently writing this from an airport hotel as we await an 11-hour flight to Santiago, Chile before transferring to Mendoza, Argentina. Pray for our body clocks.

As such, it’s time to say goodbye to New Zealand. While we’re sad to leave this beautiful country, we’ve been fortunate enough to cross off everything on our ‘must-see’ list. It’s typical, though, that even with six weeks spent here there are still things we weren’t able to see, such as the Bay of Islands, but I suppose we’ve got to have a reason to come back!

For now, we move on to Argentina. Neither of us have been to South America before, so it’s a proper journey into the unknown. Iris need not fear, though, for I’ve got a 136-day streak in Duolingo and I’ve been learning Spanish. Please can you all remind her of that? I don’t think she believes how adept I am at Español. Look, I even put the ñ in and everything!

1. For both the weather and that joke.
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2. If anyone says this reminds them of that I’m Alan Partridge episode they’ll get a slap.
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3. You try buying anything in secret when you are almost perpetually with your other half on a round-the-world trip! ↩︎
4. One for the dedicated followers, there. ↩︎