Two for the Road

Imagine you and I were coming off the back of a stressful week. After chatting about our respective problems¹ we decided to get away and unwind. Let’s suppose we had easy access to a place where the temperature was hot, but not too hot. There are beautiful temples to explore and immerse yourself in the local culture. Bars and cafes aplenty. Street vendors compete with Michelin-rated restaurants (with some crossover) for your custom and the best food. As we relax together, I turn to you and say “This is all going very well, isn’t it? What do you say we get someone to dig their knees into our backs, pull on every joint like we’re Stretch Armstrongs, and tie us in knots like pretzels?”

I wouldn’t dare to presume your reaction, but I know what mine would have been, knowing what I know now. Something very similar happened to Iris and I. We will return to this later.

We bid farewell to Phuket, but not before heading to the Old Town on our last day to experience the Sunday Night Walking Market. This is a must if you find yourself in that neck of the woods. Streets are closed and stalls run as far as the eye can see. The food choice and quality is exceptional, and cheap to boot!

After a brief layover in Bangkok, we landed in Chiang Mai. Our base is in another condominium block, the Astral Sky River, and while the flat is smaller than the place in Karon, the facilities are amazing. The eponymous Sky River refers to a pool that stretches across the rooftop, with views of the mountains surrounding the city. It has a gym also. Looks like, yet again, I won’t be able to blame the hot weather for the Pad-Thai-and-beer-led weight gain.

We’re here at the same time as the Yi Peng & Loi Krathong festival, a city-wide celebration based on Buddhist tradition. Locals and tourists alike flock to the streets to release lanterns into the sky² and upon the river. So naturally, we wanted to hit the town and get exploring.

But it transpired that on our first day it would be Iris’s turn to succumb to Thai Tummy. Blame the KFC bucket we shared on our first night. As such, we had a very apartment-centric first day, but I was still able to get out to enjoy some rice with deep-fried crispy pork.

Fortunately, Iris swiftly recovered and we were able to hit the town the following day. Chiang Mai has a different vibe to it than either Bangkok or Phuket. It’s a big city, but possibly due to the festival it feels livelier than Bangkok. The humidity isn’t as intense and we’re finding we can walk for longer periods, even in temperatures exceeding 30°C. Maybe the 1500+ kilometres further north than Phuket are making a difference. Maybe we’re finally becoming acclimatised.

At the Tha Phae Gate, a historic gate in the heart of the city, we took in the beautiful lantern-themed art displays, and later in the evening we were fortunate enough to see a pretty impressive light show. There were enough lasers and dry ice to make even the most stone-hearted Pink Floyd fan happy.

The organisers of the festival have opted for eclectic organising, as there’s no published itinerary to be found. Most of the guides we found online simply stated the best thing to do is wander around the city centre³ and be in the right place at the right time. It turned out at one point we were in the right place as we walked past a Buddhist temple in the midst of a candle ceremony, and a monk was eliciting help from tourists to light what appeared to be hundreds of candles dotted around the temple’s exterior. Iris helped light some candles while I tried in vain and almost singed my fingertips. Tale as old as time.

Earlier in that day, though, I must confess that I had been abused. After the resounding success of getting a foot massage in Phuket, we were keen to experience a back and shoulder massage. It’d be good to get rid of that lingering tension, we thought. Now, I don’t know if you know what traditional Thai massage entails, but I hadn’t fully comprehended it. After sipping some complimentary tea and changing into a remarkably unflattering shirt and trousers, I laid on my back and waited. What followed was a flat out attack on my back and shoulders. My masseur got his hands, feet, and knees in every joint, nook, and cranny of my back. Bones clicked that I didn’t even know I had. It was death by origami. He then lulled me into a false sense of security by having me flip over and giving a relaxing head massage, before grabbing me and pulling me into some yoga pose devised by sadists.

Iris came out having loved it while I needed a cup of tea and a lie down. Let’s just say it’s good to try everything once, but I think that’s enough Thai massage for me.

Last night we headed to the river to release a lantern onto the river. It was a truly beautiful sight. Lanterns glittered across the river’s surface, and the mood of the crowd was jolly and lively. Some Thai locals, to the chagrin of local law enforcement, were helpful enough to let us know what it would have been like to be in the city while it was being shelled by letting off firecrackers and fireworks throughout the city. A beautiful sight, but I think my nerves are shot.

So what’s next for us? Tomorrow we have an out-of-town tour to explore the White, Blue, and Black Temples. On Tuesday, we’ll be learning how to cook some local cuisine on an all-day cooking course. Massaman curries on me, everyone.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the pool.

Matt

1. Um, let’s say the toner in your printer ran out and, I don’t know, I had to take the cat to the vet or something.
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2. They would have back in the day, anyway, but the Thai police have cracked down on the sky lanterns in recent years within the city boundaries. Bloody killjoys. There are organised displays, but if you, our faithful followers, want to see us experience this, then dig deep and contact us for our PayPal details. Those tickets don’t come cheap!
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3. And wander we did. It was a 20,000+ step day. My feet still haven’t fully forgiven me. ↩︎