Two for the Road

Driving round New Zealand is a novel experience. We’ve been doing a lot of it recently so we’ve had plenty of time to think. Our satnav, in what can only be a kind-hearted attempt fully escape our lives and to head to the country, has eschewed the nation’s traditional highways in favour of sprawling, open country roads.

They chicane up the sides of truly gigantic mountains, surrounded by some of the most breath-taking scenery around, all the while an audience of sheep and cows watch your progress. And oh my, there are a lot of sheep and cows. It makes a difference from Australia as at least we haven’t seen signs warning about coming across dangerous wildlife. Not yet, at least. I’ll let you know if the Fjordlands National Park needs to warn its guests about some particularly aggressive rams.

Anyway, when we last left you we had settled into Fox Glacier Lodge, and we turned to beg eagerly awaiting the chance to see a glacier in the flesh.¹

Now, we’ve heard many stories about the terrible weather back home. While the cold is still yet to catch up with us, it was only too kind of the heavy clouds and rain from back home to surprise us on the one day we had to get a proper view of this natural wonder by absolutely pissing it down all day.

We nevertheless still headed out on our guided walk, wondering what to expect when anything further than about a kilometre from us was obscured by clouds, but we still managed to have a good time. Our guide was lovely and keen to share information about the local flora and how the glacier shaped the landscape over millennia.

Our hike took us through more overgrown paths than we would have picked on our own and we clambered down to the rocky valley below where, on a clear day, we’d have had one hell of a view of the glacier. Ah well. The surrounding mountains we could see were great to take in as we sipped our hot chocolates. We clambered up the rocks to get back. Got to do at least one semi-intrepid thing or can you really say you’ve had an adult gap year sabbatical?

We left the following day, but first you have to know about the pub we went to for dinner that evening, it’s a doozy. I was going to review them on TripAdvisor, but unlike the review page of a small pub, people actually read this blog.

Our decision on where to head that evening was simple – we’d head to the pub that was open. When we got there there were tables aplenty, with only two tables having reserved signs on them. How this was possible is beyond me, given that there was no website and no one answered the phone the entire time we were there.

I asked if they had a table for two and the eyes of the person we spoke to widened as if I’d told him we were armed, dangerous, and hated all bar workers with a burning passion. He advised we needed to speak to ‘the Host’ and simply pointed us towards the other end of the bar with no further indication of who ‘the Host’ was. We’d assumed Claudia Winkleman’s schedule was tied up so it was anyone’s guess.

How foolish we were, though! It turns out that the Host differentiated himself from the other bar staff by doing exactly the same duties as all other bar staff, but he wore a big hat. You’re now all berating us for missing this and we’ll take it on the chin.

The Host told us we were ‘lucky’ to get a table at almost the same moment I counted eight free tables within spitting distance. He plonked us on a table in a corner. We ordered a bottle of wine and both had the fish and chips, which in all fairness were much better than expected. When these were done, we were told we had to speak again to the Host in order to pay. This was after the Host himself had brought over our food and drinks and, after struggling to open the bottle of wine, dropped the cap on the floor and popped it straight back on the bottle. With those standards you can see why the other staff weren’t trusted to do seemingly anything else.

We left just as a musician they’d hired for the night confused tuning his guitar with repeatedly strumming the low E string. 10/10 can’t recommend highly enough.

After our lovely meal we headed on a three-hour journey to Wanaka, where we are at the time of writing. We’re staying in a lovely place next to the towns golf course, owned by two ex-plant nursery owners. The town, in the heart of Central Otago, is located on the shore of Lake Wanaka, a gorgeous blue lake with clear views of the surrounding mountain range. It’s known for the Wanaka Tree growing directly out of the lake. The weather here’s been hit and miss, but when the sun comes out Wanaka shines.

We’ve spent the last few days exploring and getting to know the town. On Saturday we took part in the local Parkrun, the course of which runs along the lakeshore. It was beautiful to run, but we should have known something when the run director announced it was an out-and back-course and we’d had to scale a pretty steep hill to get to the start line. I thought I was going to pass out.

We took in a couple of the town’s lovely vineyards². My word, this is a country that knows how to do Pinot Noirs well. Iris is more into the earthy-full bodied ones while I prefer the more fruit-forward ones. Theories as to what this says about us are welcome in the comments.

Yesterday we drove out to visit Mount Cook and Lake Tekapo. Our friends, the clouds, struck again so the peak of the mountain was sadly not visible, but we saw a glacier! A short but steep hike took us to a view of the Tasman Glacier, with a wide green lake as its foreground. Truly worth it, even if I had to remind myself of that as I struggled to catch my breath.

Lake Tekapo is like Wanaka on steroids. It’s massive and the rivers running into it are the most striking turquoise blue. We were able to get lunch at a Japanese restaurant who use locally-fished salmon for their dishes, and it was absolutely delicious to the point we got nostalgic for our time in Japan. If that’s not a rave review for a restaurant in New Zealand I don’t know what is.

Today we’re heading to Queenstown before packing our bags the following day as we prepare to head to the Fjordlands. We’re already pining for them.

Matt

1. Trust me, I’ve ummed and ahhed for about five minutes now as whether it’s weird to describe a glacier has having flesh, even in a metaphorical sense. We’ll stick with it for now. ↩︎
2. Let’s face it, you’d be worried if we didn’t at this point ↩︎